


Friendship Like Wine

by carolinecrane



Series: Devotion [8]
Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 22:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/312959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ares pays Joxer another visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friendship Like Wine

“I could kill yer mom fer this.”

“I know, but she does kind of have a point. I mean it is almost believable.”

“What? Me an’ Jox or the part where I cheat on ya?”

“Come on, Strife, I know you wouldn’t do anything like that.”

“Yeah, but Unc obviously don’t.”

“Yes he does. He’s just a little crazy right now, that’s all.”

Strife frowned and opened his mouth to argue, but when he caught a glimpse of black out of the corner of his eye he flinched and nudged Cupid with an elbow. “Shut up, here he comes.”

Cupid looked up just in time to watch Ares stride into the room, covered head to toe in what looked like a mixture of dirt and blood. “Dad? You okay?”

“What? Oh.” Ares glanced down at his clothes as if realizing for the first time what he looked like. “I was overseeing a battle.”

It looked more like Ares had single-handedly taken on an entire army, but Cupid decided not to comment. Instead he cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows in Strife’s direction. The younger god scowled briefly, then rolled his eyes and ventured a glance at his uncle.

“So, Unc, Jox says ya talked ta him yesterday. Seemed like ya cheered him up a little.”

Cupid leaned forward in his seat and raised his eyebrows at Strife. It was hard to stop himself from glancing over at his father to see his reaction to the mention of Joxer's name, but he knew if they wanted to look convincing he was going to have to play his part. "You saw Joxer again? When?"

"Just for a coupla minutes this mornin'. What? I was looking fer ya at yer mom's place an' there he was."

"How much longer is Mom gonna keep him, anyway?"

"Geez, Cupe, he's not a dog. The guy could use a friend is all."

If Cupid didn't know better he would have sworn Strife was really mad at him, but he told himself that was a good thing. His father wasn't stupid, after all, and if they were going to make Ares jealous enough to do something they had to make it believable. "Well if he likes hanging out with Dad so much maybe he should be Joxer's new best friend."

He couldn't see his father from where he was sitting, but judging from the look on Strife's face it was working. Strife looked a little scared, anyway, which meant Ares was at least listening to their conversation. "Yeah, like Unc's gonna go hang out with Jox. Come on, Cupe, he's got better things ta do than hang around some mortal."

"Like what?"

Cupid didn't hear Ares move; in fact he wasn't entirely sure his father was even listening to them until Ares had hauled Strife out of his seat by an ear. "The work you've been neglecting, for one thing," Ares growled, scowling at Strife as his nephew winced and tried not to struggle against the firm grip on his ear. "You'd do well to spend less time meddling in the affairs of mortals and more time paying attention to your duties, nephew."

"Ow, ow, okay, okay, I got it, Unc," Strife answered, clapping a hand over his injured ear when Ares let him go. He moved backwards as quickly as possible, stumbling a little when he collided with Cupid's solid chest. "Geez, ya try ta be a nice guy fer once…"

"Strife," Cupid interrupted, his voice low so Ares wouldn't overhear him. "I think we should quit while we're ahead."

"But yer mom said…"

Cupid stole another glance at his father, his grip on Strife tightening reflexively as he felt the jealousy radiating off his father. "Trust me, we've done as much as we can." He cleared his throat a little louder than necessary, barely managing to hold back a wince when Ares swung toward them again. "We're…uh… gonna go get started on that work now. See you later, Dad."

He flashed them both out of Ares' temple before his father had a chance to answer, letting out a shudder when they found themselves safely back in his bedroom. He'd seen his father more furious than that before, but he'd never felt that kind of jealousy from Ares. His father's anger was always the carefully controlled kind, the type of anger that Ares could channel into his line of work. Jealousy was one of those unfocused, uncontrollable emotions, and on his father it was a little more terrifying than usual.

"Cupe? Ya think that was too much?"

He looked up at the sound of Strife's voice, shrugging and hoping he didn't look as worried as he felt. "I don't know. I guess Mom knows what she's doing."

"I sure hope so, 'cause if not I think Unc might kill me first chance he gets."

Cupid knew Strife was only half-kidding, and he took a few steps forward to put his arms around the younger god. "He'll work it out. The whole point is to get him to spend some more time with Joxer, right? And if jealousy doesn't do it I don't know what else will."

Strife didn't look any more convinced than he did, but Aphrodite had been doing this a lot longer than both of them, and she knew Ares better than probably anybody else on Olympus or Earth. So if she said this was the best way to get Ares to do something about his love life they had to trust her.

~

Joxer shook his head for what felt like the thousandth time that morning, smiling when he found himself wondering if he could do permanent damage by jostling his brain so much. He'd been wandering through Aphrodite's gardens for most of the morning, replaying the events of the day before in his mind. He'd been over and over the brief conversation with Ares, and he still hadn't come up with a satisfactory explanation as to why the god of War would be interested in his well-being. He'd asked Aphrodite about it, and when she'd given him a vague answer and then changed the subject he'd asked Strife. When he got the same brush-off from the god of Mischief he knew he was missing something, but he knew he wasn't going to get a straight answer out of anyone on Olympus.

He still hadn't figured out what he was still doing on Olympus, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to that question because most of the time he didn't want to go home. Whenever he thought about Xena and Gabrielle he felt a little guilty for worrying them, but the fact was that being on Olympus made him feel better. He had a feeling it had something to do with being inside the actual House of Love, but whatever the reason he didn't want to give it up. He never wanted to feel as empty as he had when Aphrodite told him that Timo was dead, and as long as he stayed within Love's walls the pain was almost bearable.

Of course the only people he ever saw were Aphrodite, Strife and occasionally Cupid. Well, there was Ares now, too, but Joxer wasn't holding out hope that he'd see the god of War again. Ares had nothing to do with the House of Love, and now that he'd satisfied himself that Joxer was grateful for having his life saved he'd probably forget Joxer was even on Olympus. He'd forget about telling Joxer that they'd talk again, and that touch…that hadn't meant anything. It was probably just some god thing he didn't know about, maybe a blessing or a way for the gods to tell what mortals were thinking. Aphrodite was always touching him, it probably didn't mean anything more than that.

It was hard not to feel _something_ , though. It wasn't as though the god of War went around being nice to mortals for no reason, and until yesterday Joxer had been fairly certain that Ares didn't even know who he was. He'd seen the god plenty of times when Ares was tormenting Xena, but Ares had never so much as glanced in his direction before. The fact that he'd saved Joxer's life was amazing enough, but for him to come check to make sure Joxer was alright was so out of character that Joxer couldn't help wondering what it meant. Then again, he only knew what Xena and other warriors had told him about Ares and what he'd seen from afar, so it wasn't as though he really knew the person behind the godhood.

Not that he expected to learn more about Ares during his stay on Olympus. Any day now Aphrodite was going to get tired of having him hanging around her house, and she was going to send him back to Greece. He knew it was inevitable, but the thought still evoked a heavy sigh before he could stop it.

"Not still blaming yourself for the fate of others, I trust."

The deep, rich voice was so unexpected in the silence of the garden that Joxer nearly fell off the bench he'd been sitting on, his cheeks flushing when he looked up and found Ares watching him. "Ares, I…no. I was just thinking about going home. But I guess you already knew that."

Ares frowned and for a moment Joxer was terrified that he’d said something wrong, but Ares didn’t look angry so much as confused. A moment later realization dawned on him and he shook his head, taking a seat on the bench next to Joxer. “Gods do have the ability to read the minds of mortals, but it’s generally not done unless necessary to a mortal’s well-being. A god may read the mind of a follower who he feels is being dishonest, but there are very few mortals foolish enough to try lying to a god. Since you were dedicated to me I hear all your prayers, unless they’re directly specifically to another member of the pantheon. But I don’t make a habit of reading your mind.”

Joxer looked down at the ground in front of him when he felt the heat rising in his cheeks, hoping Ares wouldn’t notice his blush. He’d never really thought of it as an intrusion; he hadn’t spent a lot of time contemplating it, but he’d always just assumed that gods knew what mortals were thinking without even trying. It had never occurred to him that gods would worry about things like privacy, but considering what he’d learned since coming to Olympus he wasn’t surprised.

“I’m sorry, Ares, I didn’t mean to imply…”

Ares waved off his apology with one hand, turning on the bench to study Joxer’s profile. His expression was unreadable, at least in Joxer’s limited experience. He’d never really had the opportunity to study Ares’ features before, and he wasn’t sure if the frown was because he was unhappy or if he was just thinking. He knew enough about Ares to close his mouth as soon as the god held up a hand, though, and he tried his best not to tremble while he waited for Ares to say something. “You’ve been spending time with my nephew.”

For a moment Joxer wasn’t sure who Ares meant, then he realized he must be talking about Strife. He felt himself nodding, then he blushed again and shook his head. “A little, I guess. He’s been very nice; Cupid too. Strife’s different than I expected.”

“And how did you expect to find him?”

There was an edge in Ares’ voice that Joxer couldn’t quite explain, but he was almost sure now that he’d said something wrong. “I didn’t mean any disrespect to your family, it’s just…people always talk about how crazy Mischief is. I guess I just expected him to be less…normal. He’s much easier to talk to than I expected.”

Ares’ eyebrows shot up and Joxer braced himself for shouting or possibly sudden death, but to his surprise Ares’ mouth twisted into something almost like a wry grin. “He does have a certain image to keep up among the mortals. It’s possible you’re the first mortal that’s ever tried to hold a conversation with him.”

“Really? The first? Doesn’t he have worshippers?”

Ares shrugged and shifted in a way that Joxer would have described as uncomfortable if he didn’t know better. “All gods have worshippers, some more than others. But receiving prayers isn’t the same as holding a conversation. My warlords fear me, but they don’t know me. They see the god that can grant them victory in battle or wipe out their entire army on a whim. They don’t see me as someone to talk to. I’d imagine it’s the same for Strife.”

“It must be lonely.” The words slipped out of his mouth before he even realized he was thinking them, and as soon as he heard himself say them out loud he wished Ares hadn’t saved his life after all. He wasn’t sure exactly what Tartarus was like; the few times he’d tried asking Iolaus about it he’d only gotten vague answers before the other man changed the subject, and Aphrodite got a little upset whenever he mentioned it. So he wasn’t really sure what to expect, but he knew if he said the wrong thing to Ares he’d be finding out faster than he’d planned.

To his surprise Ares didn’t look angry at the observation, he didn’t even really look surprised that Joxer had spoken so freely. In fact it almost seemed as though Ares was considering whether or not being a god really was lonely, and Joxer found himself holding his breath as he waited for Ares to answer.

“I suppose it is, in a way,” Ares finally said, and although his gaze was fixed on Joxer he had a feeling Ares wasn’t really seeing him. “There’s always someone plotting against someone else on Olympus, but for the most part the gods tend to keep to themselves unless there’s business to discuss. Keeping track of all you mortals takes up most of our time.”

Joxer found himself smiling in spite of his nervousness; it wasn’t every day he found himself in the middle of a friendly conversation with the god of War, but it was kind of…nice. Ares was much calmer than he’d expected, just like Strife was a lot more intelligent than Joxer would have guessed. He’d never stopped to consider that maybe there was more to the gods than what they let their worshippers see, but it made sense. He wasn’t sure why they’d chosen him as the apparent exception to that rule, but he was grateful for the opportunity to see the real Ares.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Ares nodded, focusing his attention on Joxer again as he waited to hear whatever was on Joxer’s mind.

“Don’t you ever get any time off? I mean even Xena and Hercules take a vacation from being heroes every once in awhile.”

He winced when Ares’ expression darkened at the mention of Hercules, but as soon as the emotion surfaced it was gone. “Vacation from being a god. I can just imagine suggesting that Zeus instate that policy.”

Ares’ lips turned up in the first genuine smile Joxer had ever seen on the god, and it was such an unexpected sight that Joxer didn’t even mind that Ares was making fun of him. Maybe it was silly to suggest that gods would need the same kind of breaks as mortals, but if it made Ares smile like that…Joxer shook himself out of the sudden and vaguely disturbing thought, forcing himself to focus on anything other than the things Ares’ smile was doing to his stomach. He’d always thought of his god as handsome, but he’d never really thought of him as…well, as a man. So he was attractive; he was a god, they were supposed to be striking. Joxer had enough problems without developing a crush on someone as unattainable as the god of War.

Still, it was hard not to have some kind of reaction to the fact that he was sitting with the god he’d spent his whole life praying to, having a conversation about what it was like to be a god. He couldn’t help laughing when he imagined what Xena would think, and when Ares raised his eyebrows at him he forgot to be nervous. “I was just imagining Xena’s face if she saw me talking to you.”

Ares returned his smile, and it got a little harder for Joxer to ignore the affect it had on him. “I’m glad you haven’t allowed my daughter’s opinion of me to affect your judgment.”

“Some habits are hard to break, I guess.” As soon as he realized how that must sound he blushed again, but Ares didn’t look like he was ready to incinerate him so he tried again. “Not that I ever prayed to you just out of habit. I always knew you were listening, and even if it wasn’t exactly like talking to you it made me feel better.”

“I’ve always wondered about that,” Ares murmured half to himself, his voice so low that Joxer had to lean in a little to catch what he’d said. Somewhere in the back of his mind he had a feeling the whole situation should make him uncomfortable, but Ares seemed to think there was nothing strange at all about sitting in Aphrodite’s garden and talking like they were old friends. Then again, Ares was probably so used to hearing Joxer’s prayers that to him the situation did seem perfectly normal. Not that this was the sort of thing Joxer usually prayed about, but he was grateful for the chance to talk to Ares and actually get an answer for the first time.

“You’ve always wondered what?” Joxer prodded gently, summoning courage from somewhere deep inside of him.

“If it bothered you that I never answer your prayers. Not just you, of course,” Ares added quickly. “I answer what prayers I can, but I wonder sometimes if you mortals realize that you’ve received an answer.”

“What kind of prayers can’t you answer?”

A heavy sigh escaped Ares’ throat and Joxer instantly regretted asking when he saw the sadness settle over the god’s features. “Prayers for souls already claimed by Hades, for instance. I get a lot of that in my line of work. Prayers for things that fall under another god’s domain. Vengeance, for instance. That’s Nemesis, but mortals seem to think War should be responsible for retribution when the death is a result of battle. You’d be surprised at the number of misdirected prayers people send out.”

“I can imagine,” Joxer said, although he was fairly sure he couldn’t. He couldn’t even begin to imagine the number of worshippers that prayed to Ares, let alone how many of their prayers would fall under another god’s job description. “I did that, didn’t I? When I first left home…you probably don’t remember that, though.”

“I remember,” Ares answered, the soft quality of his voice making Joxer look up sharply. “You belong to me, you were right to pray to me for protection.”

“No, I meant…I prayed to you for protection for someone else. But you did answer that prayer, didn’t you? You took him into your temple and tried to keep him safe.” Ares didn’t answer, but it was obvious from the way he was looking at Joxer that he knew exactly who he was talking about. Joxer hadn’t thought about that prayer since he was sixteen years old, but now he knew that Ares had answered it even though he didn’t have to. “You did that just because I asked you to?”

For a long time Ares just looked at him without answering, but Joxer couldn’t bring himself to look away. He hadn’t planned to ask the question out loud, but now that he had he wanted to know the answer. He wanted to know why he was important enough for Ares to save his life, for Aphrodite to bring him up to Olympus and keep him safe. He wanted – no, he _needed_ – to know why he was so important when there were so many mortals who never even saw a god, let alone spoke to one.

“There’s more to being a loyal follower of War than being the strongest and the most skilled with a sword,” Ares finally said. As soon as he finished speaking he cleared his throat and stood up, crossing his arms over his chest and not quite meeting Joxer’s gaze. “I have some business to attend to. You aren’t planning to ask Dite to send you home today?”

Joxer felt himself shaking his head before he even had time to consider his answer. If it was possible he wanted to go home even less now than he had before Ares showed up, although he wouldn’t have been able to say why if anyone asked him.

“I’ll see you again, then.”

A second later Ares was gone, and Joxer was left staring at the empty space where he’d been standing. He was getting used to people flashing in and out on him without warning, but that didn’t help the disappointment he felt when he found himself alone again. Ares had as good as promised to see him again, though, and even if he couldn’t explain it Joxer found himself looking forward to the next time Ares would visit him.

~

Ares bypassed the central rooms of his halls and flashed directly into his bedroom, unwilling to run the risk of running into any family members. He had a feeling that the little performance Cupid and Strife had put on that morning was Aphrodite’s suggestion, but if it made them all feel better he was willing to play along. For the time being, anyway. Besides, it gave him an excuse to drop in and check up on Joxer, and even though he hated himself for it he just wasn’t strong enough to stay away.

While Joxer was in Greece with Xena it was easy enough to keep his distance, but now that he was right here on Olympus…it was just too much to ignore. It was his fault that Joxer blamed himself for his father’s death, just as much as it was his fault that Joxer blamed himself for Timo. It would have been laughable if it wasn’t so heartbreaking to watch Joxer mourning someone who had never even existed. Only he did exist; even if he had a different face and a different name Ares still felt just as strongly for Joxer now as he had when they were lovers.

That was the problem, though, because no matter how much time they spent together Joxer could never know the truth. Ares couldn’t tell him, not if he expected Joxer to go on being a part of his life. So the best he could hope for was the chance Dite was giving him now. They could be friends, and maybe someday…he shook his head to chase the thought away as quickly as it surfaced, telling himself not to start hoping for things that could never happen. He could be Joxer’s friend, but they’d never be lovers again. Joxer’s heart belonged to a memory and it probably always would, even if that memory had been a part of Ares at one time.

He wasn’t about to let his pride interfere with the only chance he had to be in Joxer’s life, though, so he let his son and his nephew think they were tricking him into going to Joxer. And if he was a little jealous about the level of comfort Strife seemed to have with Joxer it just helped convince them that he was falling for their act, so he didn’t bother trying to hide how he felt. He couldn’t even bring himself to care that they both knew his secret, because at least it meant his family wanted this for him. Even if it could never be the thing he’d been dreaming about for the past fifteen years, it was something. And fifteen years was nothing to a god, but to Ares it felt like a lifetime. The hundreds of years that came before Joxer were all a blur, but the fifteen years since Joxer left him that note and ran away from home felt like an eternity.

He knew there was no way Dite would let Joxer go home any time soon, not if she thought there was a chance that Ares would try to fix what he’d broken. He knew that was impossible, but as long as she believed otherwise she’d find a way to keep Joxer as close as possible. Which meant Ares had a chance to at least be his friend again, to be more to him than some distant god he prayed to out of habit. He’d managed not to let on how much those words hurt him, but it comforted him a little to know that Joxer knew his prayers were heard. And now he knew that Ares answered all his prayers, no matter how small or unimportant. Not that Joxer ever asked for anything big, but Ares almost wished he would just so he could prove how far he’d go to make sure Joxer was happy.

It would be embarrassing to admit even to himself how much he depended on hearing Joxer’s voice every day, but now that they’d spoken again he knew it was just going to get worse. When Joxer finally did go home he’d find himself wandering down to Greece when Xena wasn’t around just to sit and talk to Joxer, and he could only hope the mortal never thought to question Ares’ motivations. He could always fall back on the adage that it wasn’t Joxer’s place to question a god’s whims, but he had a feeling he’d find himself coming too close to admitting the truth. It was a risk he was willing to take if it meant being Joxer's friend again, though, and even if Joxer thought their friendship was brand-new Ares would remember how far back it really went.


End file.
